Raising a Son: The Journey of Nurturing Ambitions and Character

My son is about to turn 17 next month, and as I reflect on his journey so far, I am filled with both pride and hope for his future. With dreams of becoming a software engineer, specializing in game development, he has firmly decided to pursue his two-year senior high education at Cebu Institute of Technology – University (CIT-U). This choice, endorsed by many—including a former professor from the University of the Philippines—affirms CIT-U’s reputation as one of the top IT schools in the country.

I’ve had the privilege of working alongside many CIT-U graduates in the digital space, and their expertise speaks volumes about the institution’s quality. It’s a fitting environment for my son’s ambitions.

Raising a child involves more than just providing for their physical needs; it’s about guiding them through life’s complexities. One key element of our parenting approach has been maintaining regular heart-to-heart conversations. I remember vividly a discussion we had when he was about 6 or 7 years old. We talked about relationships and the right age to start them.

I advised him not to feel pressured or envious of friends or classmates who were entering relationships during high school. Instead, I emphasized the importance of focusing on his academics and leadership skills, which would lay a solid foundation for his future. I cautioned him against prioritizing romantic relationships at a young age, explaining that they could lead to early marriages and potentially disrupt his career ambitions. Although some people find success despite early commitments, many find their dreams sidelined as they juggle new responsibilities.

To make my point, I used a mathematical analogy, given his love for numbers. I asked him to imagine living up to 90 or 100 years. If he spends his early years—those crucial for education and self-development—under parental guidance, he will gain independence around age 25. By then, he could explore the world and pursue his passions freely. However, if he engages in relationships too early, he might find that his freedom is curtailed by the demands and complexities of relationships and possibly marriage. This could shift his focus away from personal growth to raising a family, which would change the course of his life significantly.

I jokingly suggested that he should delay relationships until he is around 30 and consider marriage only around 40. Though it sounded humorous, it was my way of underlining the importance of timing and priorities. Despite the jest, I have consistently reminded him of this advice, and it came into sharp focus during his junior high years. His peers, some of whom were already in relationships, teased him about his apparent disinterest in girls, questioning his preferences.

My son faced this teasing with remarkable maturity. I advised him to rise above their narrow-minded views, which were often driven by adolescent hormones, and to continue focusing on his education and character development. His experience at Don Bosco Technological Center (DBTC) has been instrumental in shaping his values, especially through its emphasis on character building.

When my son confided in me about the teasing and the social pressure he faced, I felt a deep sense of pride. It was clear that he was growing into a respectful young man, one who treats others with dignity and doesn’t engage in demeaning conversations about women. His ability to handle such situations with grace rather than retaliate is a testament to his character.

In our conversations, I’ve reinforced that focusing on academics and personal development during teenage years is not only a valid choice but a commendable one. It’s not about rejecting relationships but about choosing to prioritize one’s future and personal growth.

As he prepares to step into the next phase of his education and life, I am confident that the values we’ve discussed and the guidance we’ve provided will serve him well. Raising a son involves nurturing his dreams while instilling principles that will guide him through life’s challenges. Watching him grow into a thoughtful and ambitious young man, I am reassured that he is on the right path—one that will allow him to achieve his dreams and remain true to himself.